I am NOT a patient person. This is something I am very aware of and so is God. There have been many opportunities where God has tried to teach me patience. Experiences with family members, experiences in school, dating, work, church callings, the list could go on. At one point on my mission, the mission president and I were discussing my current area assignment and he half jokingly asked, "Do you think God is trying to teach you a little patience?" My response, "You have no idea. That is the story of my life."
So at the ripe old age of almost 29, you'd think I would have acquired some ability to be patient. I have failed. I want my son home and I want him home NOW!! No more waiting, no more monitoring, no more measuring, calculating and weighing his feds. Baby Z did not gain weight these last two days. He didn't lose weight, but he did not gain weight either so we wait. Wait for him to grow. Wait for him to get comfortable eating on a regular schedule. Wait for the morphine withdrawals to cease - they are few and far between but when one hits it is hard for me to bear. Wait, wait, wait. That is the game right now. That is the challenge. Perhaps this time I will learn how to be a bit more patient. Until then my VERY patient husband will have do deal with my constant complaining.
The waiting is SO hard. Madi was in the NICU as a newborn, but she was only there for 5 days. And it was one of the hardest times of my life. So I can't imagine how you're feeling!! I hope the time passes quickly and your little guy keeps doing well so that he can come home and be in your arms :). You're such a good momma. Good luck with everything!!
ReplyDeleteJulianne,
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog religiously and keeping you, Nate and baby Z in my prayers. I am SO happy to see him with no tubes! He is such an adorable little boy. I sure hope that he can come home soon. What a trooper. I know this has been a hard month for both you and Nate. Know that we all here have been praying and fasting for you guys. We love you and will continue to keep praying!
Your Z cuz,
Natalie
It was GREAT to talk to you today! Very cathartic! Let's chat again soon! Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to see baby Z progressing. He is such a strong little guy. What a miracle and a blessing to see him without a the lines. I see your coloring and a ressemblence to Addison. You've handled this extremely difficult trial with so much grace. Thank you for sharing his progress and know many many people are praying for him and your family.
ReplyDeleteit is hard. you are right. i'm sure your and nathan's constant attention to things (baby Z's progress and such) will help to get him home faster. i remember pushing pretty hard for some things and it worked at times. and the other times, the extra monitoring was for the best i suppose, but i didn't like it one bit. way to hang on. do you guys need anything this weekend? j's home so i can come easy if you need something...
ReplyDeleteWho in the world can blame you for becoming impatient and wanting to take the sweet little boy home? It is so fun to actually see his cute little face. I am SO happy that he is to the point he is--so happy that he is improving (minus the weight gain--- ya want one of my kids to call and give him a little pep talk-- since apparently they are pros at chunking on the weight when they are babies!? :) Sure love you guys- you are all constantly in our thoughts and especially in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteHe looks so good! I just keep looking at your blog to see this picture. He's adorable!
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